Diffusing the Situation

Which of the following sentences is correct?

1. The bomb squad diffused the bomb.
2. The bomb squad defused the bomb.

If you chose number 2, you are correct. The following is dictionary.com's definitions of the two words:

defuse:

verb (used with object)

1. to remove the fuze from (a bomb, mine, etc.).
2. to make less dangerous, tense, or embarrassing: to defuse a potentially ugly situation.

diffuse:

verb (used with object)

1. to pour out and spread, as a fluid.
2. to spread or scatter widely or thinly; disseminate.
3. Physics . to spread by diffusion.

You see that you cannot diffuse a situation. At all. Ever. Please don't write/say that you or someone else did that.

PS: I do not approve of spelling 'fuse' with a zed as above: "fuze." It just looks stupid.

Run On!

Which of the following is a run on sentence?

1. I went to the store I bought milk.
2. I went to store to buy milk and, while I was there, I met my friend George who was buying white bread, so I stopped to talk to him, and I pointed out that whole wheat bread is a much healthier choice—he didn't care though because he likes the taste of white bread.

If you chose number 1, you get a plate of virtual cookies.

I believe that most people would choose number 2, because when they hear "run on" they think of a sentence that goes on and on; therefore, a long sentence. However, that is not the definition of "run on sentence." A run on sentence is "a written sequence of two or more main clauses that are not separated by a period or semicolon or joined by a conjunction." (Dictionary.com) In other words, two sentences jammed together without anything to join them properly into one sentence.

There are actually two kinds of run on sentences: fused sentences and comma splices. In the example above, number 1  is a fused sentence. I don't see these that often, but I do see a lot of comma splices, even in published works. The Song of Ice and Fire books by George R.R. Martin are full of them. A comma splice would look like this: "I went to the store, I bought milk."

Correcting a run on sentence is easy, but there is no one right way to do it. You have a few options. The simplest is to simply add a period: "I went to the store. I bought milk." But if you don't want the reader to make the full stop a period creates, you would use a semicolon: "I went to the store; I bought milk" or a long dash: "I went to the store—I bought milk." If you like, you could also use a conjunction: "I went to the store and I bought milk" or another joining word: "I went to the store where I bought milk."

A really long sentence is not necessarily a run on sentence. As long as you've punctuated correctly, and you have all the joining words you need, there is no limit to the length of a sentence. The only problem you run into then is confusing your reader: by the time a reader gets to the end of a really long sentence, they may forget how it began.

Remember: a run on sentence results when you try to join two sentences together without using the correct mortar. A comma is not strong enough on its own, so use a semicolon or a joining word, or just use a period and leave them separate. If you follow this, you can go on and on without running on. ;)

Stop. Don't Add That 'E'

There's a trend lately online to add extra 'e's to the ends of words. I've noticed this with the exclamation 'aw' and the short-form of 'influenza' -- 'flu.' A lot of people are writing 'awe' when they mean 'aw' and 'flue' when they mean 'flu.' This changes the meaning of your sentence completely.

'Awe' means "an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like: in awe of God; in awe of great political figures."(from dictionary.com)

'Flue' means "a passage or duct for smoke in a chimney or any duct or passage for air, gas, or the like."(from dictionary.com)

Another, even more annoying trend I've seen is when a word has a silent 'e' at the end, and the typist adds several more of them. For example, instead of saying "I love you," s/he says "I loveeeeeeeeeee you." How is one supposed to pronounce this? The only way I can think to do so would be "LUV- EE" with the 'ee' sound stretched out. This sounds as stupid as it looks. Please don't do this.

If you didn't, don't say you did!

I keep seeing this lately: people online are writing "did" when they mean "didn't/did not," "does" when they mean "doesn't/does not," or "can" when they mean "can't/cannot." Most of these can be explained away as simple typos; however, these mistakes change the meaning so completely that you are saying the exact opposite of what you meant to say.

The solution is easy: read over what you've written before you press submit. There is no need to post it so fast that you end up saying that you "can imagine living without" your significant other. He/She won't be so happy to read that on your Facebook.

Whoa there!

Which is correct: 'whoa' or 'woah'? Many would pick the latter, or be unsure as to which to choose. Many, when typing, enter the latter without thought. However, that is a mistake, for 'woah' is not actually a word. The correct spelling is 'whoa' - which uses the common 'wh' that is found at the beginning of so many words (which, what, why, where, etc). I'm at a loss as to why this mistake has become so prevalent, for it has no logical basis such as that found in the misspelling of 'lose' for example. Furthermore, 'woah' should look wrong to the reader, as it would clearly be pronounced with two syllables as WO-AH rather than merely the one syllable WO. This is one of those mistakes that makes the writer look very foolish, and cannot be passed off as merely a 'typo.'

I was so angry, I whooped?

Whoop: "a loud cry or shout, as of excitement or joy" (from dictionary.com)

"I'm gonna whoop your butt!" - angry parent to child who just did something bad.

What's wrong with this picture? How do you shout someone's butt? This misspelling has become so prevalent, it's listed on urbandictionary.com with the incorrect definition. Clearly this originally came from "whip" which some people pronounce "whup" which sounds like "whoop." But why not just write "whup"? Do they think that looks stupid? Let me let you in on something: using "whoop" to mean whip/beat looks a lot stupider. At least, if you write "whup" it's obvious that you're using slang spelling on purpose.

Loose vs Lose

One of the things that bothers me the most is when someone uses the word "loose" when they mean "lose." The two words have similar meanings, but they're not the same. "To loose" means "to free from bonds or restraint. To release, as from constraint, obligation, or penalty." (from Dictionary.com) "To lose" means "to fail to keep, preserve, or maintain. To suffer the deprivation of." (from Dictionary.com)

Obviously, the reason so many people have such a problem with these words is that 'o' is not often pronounced 'oo.' However, I have never seen someone write "moove" when they meant to write "move." This is probably because "moove" is not a word, while "loose" is.

This mistake is probably one of the most common grammatical/spelling errors on the Internet, and it seems to be getting more and more prevalent. I think when we see errors enough, they start to look right to us, and then we have the tendency to make the same mistakes.